Letters to Jory

What is the definition of a man?

I’ve been sitting here watching you sleep for the last hour, my fingers running through your hair, the back of my fingers rubbing your cheek, and I’m watching your chest rise and fall with your every breath.

There’s a lot I need to tell you.

There’s a lot I need to make sure you understand.

What is a man? What does he do? What does he represent? What does it entail?

As you grow up and while you do, I need you to remember often and keep present in your mind that you need to be a better man than I was. You need to be a better man than there ever was.

You need to become the man of all men.

No excuses.

I fully expect this of you.

A man that doesn’t raise his voice, much less his hand at a woman. A man that brings no harm or ill will to a child. A man who doesn’t bully. Never EVER bullies. A man who doesn’t speak negatively of anyone, even and especially when they speak negatively of you. A man who doesn’t stand silent when someone weaker is being demeaned or hurt.

I expect of you a man who doesn’t fight with his fists, but that seeks to understand first and then to be understood, and uses his head and his heart to prevail. I expect a man who doesn’t steal, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t cut corners, and doesn’t squander his abilities. I expect of you a man that doesn’t stay down and defeated when you’re tried and tired, because it will happen.

I expect you to be humble.

I expect of you a man that extends his hand, his heart and his mind in the benefit and relief of others. I expect you to be mindful of your environment and your circumstances and to always work to help and create value, especially to those who aren’t as talented or fortunate as you. I expect you to work harder than everyone around you. I expect you to provide to the best of your abilities to those that depend on you, to shelter them, feed them, protect them, and provide them a life and experiences that will be your responsibility and yours alone, as a man.

I expect you to love, and never hate.

I expect you to lift and build up, and never destroy.

I expect you to be a peacemaker, but an ardent defender of what is right. I expect you to speak up and represent those who cannot represent themselves. I expect you to remember what is important in this life and what isn’t.

Be authentic. Be sincere. Be kind. Be honest. Be real.

Chase your passion, never chase the money.

You are more than you think, and you are more than others will tell you.

I expect the very best from you and nothing less.

I also expect you to remember that I know, even if I’m not around, I know, that sometimes bad things will happen and sometimes you will come up short. Sometimes you will lose, sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will get it wrong and sometimes it just won’t work out.

And that is ok...

...but I expect you to get up, and figure it out, and never lose your focus.

I love you to the worlds end.

You are the one thing I got right and when I got it right, it was perfect.

You are perfect.

Never lose your light, never turn dark.

Always be good, strive to be great.

Be your very best.

Be your very brightest.

Be the man, we all wish we could be.

Amo booger, amo.

-Dad